Watching The Office

Our beloved wacky series has made it to the list of Emmy Finalists. The ten best comedy series from last season include:

Desperate Housewives (”It Takes Two”)
Entourage (”One Day in the Valley”)
Extras (”Daniel Radcliffe”)
My Name is Earl (”The Trial”)
The Office (”The Coup”)
Scrubs (”My Musical”)
30 (”Hard Ball”)
Two and a Half Men (??)
Ugly Betty (Pilot)
Weeds (”Cooking with Jesus”)

I don’t have the best of luck when it comes to guesses and presumptions but I think that this is not isn’t hard to assume The Office makes it to the finals. The Coup was one of its most hilarious, best written episodes — where Dwight attempts to take Michael’s job but then ends up doing his laundry for a whole year when Michael found out about it.

Priceless lines:

Michael: The only cure I know for the Monday blues is “Varsity Blues.�

Jan: How would a movie increase productivity, Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Michael: People work faster after.
Jan: Magically.
Michael: No, they have to, to make up for the time they lost, watching the movie.

Dwight: There is a Liz Claiborne outlet. I know you like that store. Go inside and shop until I can meet you.
Jan: How do you know I like that store?
Dwight: Many of your blouses are Claiborne’s.
Jan: How do you know that?
Dwight: It’s part of my job.
Jan: No, it’s not. It’s officially not.
Dwight: Noted.

Michael: Your dentist’s name is Crentist.

Michael: Business is like a jungle. And I am like a tiger. And Dwight is like a monkey, that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does the tiger transfer the monkey to another branch. (Smiles) Pun. There is no way of knowing what goes on inside the tiger’s head. We don’t have the technology.

Michael: Get up. And you can hug it out, bitch.

Michael: Yup, yup, we hugged it out. But, it turns out I was still a little angry. So I felt I needed to punish him just a little bit more, and I’m making him do my laundry for a year.

But my personal favorite would have to be this line from Kelly’s to Pam: Fashion show, fashion show, fashion show for lunch!

Here’s part of that episode, The Coup…(Youtube goldmine, yey!)

The Office, Emmy Awards, The Office Quotes, The Office Episodes, Youtube

Congrats to The Office for one incredible season finale. It was marvelous, it was surprising, it was hilarious, and it was a fantastic end to a great season. Okay, let’s go…

We open with Michael arriving one day early for his interview to the surprise of David Wallace. Michael tries to cover up and says he was just in the city and thought he would stop by and ask Wallace some questions. Michael feels this was a good run-in with the boss.

Michael: (While waiting for his call to go through to Pam) “I have go it made in the shade. I know this company. The other regional managers are total morons. (On the phone now) Hey Pam, yeah, I forgot which day the interview was and I drove to New York accidentally, I’ll be 3 hours late.”

Opening credits.

Back in Scranton, Jim walks in with a haircut that makes him look eerily like Jimmy Stewart from “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.”

Kevin:(To Jim )”What’s different about you? You look worse.”
Jim: “Thanks, Kevin.”
To top it off, Andy dubs Jim “Big Haircut”, to replace his former title as “Big Tuna.”

Headshot Jim: “Karen suggested I get a haircut for the interview tomorrow, so that I could look presentable and not so, as she so lovingly put it, homeless.”

Next we hear from Pam as she retells what happened at the beach after her big speech. Jim came to speak with her, gave her a big hug and told her that he missed her too and that she meant a lot to him. Sweet.

Michael is now back at the office and has Dwight come to his office. Michael presents Dwight with the job of Regional Manager of the Scranton Branch. Dwight begins sobbing profusely and Michael becomes visibly uncomfortable and actually ends up walking out on Dwight.

Pam tells the camera crew that she is not embarrassed by what happened at the beach, yet she realizes she may have made others uncomfortable, namely Jim’s girlfriend. Pam walks into the break room to find Karen and immediately apologizes if she made Karen feel “weird.” Karen brushes it off and says that we all say things when we’re not thinking. Pam corrects her and lets her know that she was thinking and had been thinking for a long time. Karen doesn’t like Pam.

Kevin approaches Jim to see if Jim thinks Pam or Karen is hotter. Jim obviously backs down from that man-trap, but encourages Kevin on his quest to see which woman is ultimately better. We see Kevin throughout the day making notes as he or others comment about characteristics of either of the contenders.

Pam goes again into the break room for a snack and Oscar makes a bit of fun over Pam’s speech at the beach, saying, “Pam, I miss our friendship.” Pam laughs it off. Stanley butts in.
Stanley: “I’ve never heard you that much, I thought it was Kelly.”
Kelly:(Obviously missing the insult) “Are you kidding me? I would never have done that. It was pathetic-ville. No offense, Pam.”
Meredith assures Pam that no one probably remembers her speech because they were all too drunk. Creed says he remembers and blogged all about it.
Headshot Creed: “www.creedthoughts.com.www/creedthoughts. Check it out.”
Headshot Ryan: “Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I’ve read some of it. Even for the internet, it’s pretty shocking.”

Next we learn, through a conversation with the accountants, that Michael, in preparation for his new job, has sold his condo.
Michael: “I sold it on Ebay. The buyer was very motivated, as was I. It went for 8% of what I paid. It went in record time.”

Dwight approaches Angela and informs her that he has become the new Regional Manager. The have an awkward, secretive, love moment and then Dwight departs. Alone, Angela realizes the power that Dwight will hold and says, “Goodbye, Kelly Kapoor.”

Dwight is relishing his new position and while sitting across from Jim, pumping away on a hand exerciser, says…
Dwight: “Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim.”
Jim: “Oh, hey Dwight.”
Dwight: “I’m gonna be you new boss. My greatest dream come true. Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check in time is now, check out time is never.”
Jim: “Does my room have cable?”
Dwight: “No, and the sheets are made of fire.”
Jim: “Can I change rooms?”
Dwight: “Sorry, we’re all booked up. Hell convention in town.”
Jim: “Can I have a late check out?”
Dwight: “I’ll have to talk to the manager.”
Jim: “You’re not the manager, even in your own fantasy?”
Dwight:(Hesitates) “I’m the owner. The co-owner with Satan!”
Jim: “Okay, just so I understand it, in your wildest dreams you’re in hell, and you’re co-running a bed n’ breakfast with the Devil.”
Dwight: “But I haven’t told you my salary yet.”
Jim: “Go.”
Dwight: “$80,000 per year!”

Headshot Dwight: “Once I am officially Regional Manager, my first order of business will be to demote Jim Halpert. So I will need a new #2. My ideal choice…Jack Bauer. But he’s unavailable, fictional, and over-qualified.”

Jan comes back and Michael declares a Def-Con 10. While Jan waits in his office, wanting to talk to him about something, he gathers the girls in the conference room in case he needs assistance.
Jan wants to get back together. Michael needs assistance.
The girls tell him to be strong, to remember why he broke it off in the first place and above all, not to get back together with Jan.
When Michael returns to his office, Jan has taken off her jacket and it is painfully obvious that Jan has gotten a breast augmentation, if that’s what the kids are calling it these days.
Michael gets back together with Jan, citing that she’s changed. Jan parades around the office with the new girls.
Pam and Jim share a moment where they can’t believe what Jan has done to herself. Karen looks on and becomes jealous because who wouldn’t and decides to take Jim’s attention off of Pam.

Dwight posts a sign-up sheet for the position of number 2. Andy signs up and Dwight proceeds with an interview.
Headshot Andy: “I’m a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something that no one else has…my brain, which I use to my advantage…when advantageous.

They later arm wrestle, Andy loses and Dwight says he’ll let him know.

Karen and Jim head to New York. Apparently, Karen is more familiar with the city than Jim is and she leads the way. They eat, they catch a show, they go to a bar, they possibly see Lauren Michaels…they have fun.

Flash back quickly to Michael as he takes off. He knows this will be his last moment with the folks of the Scranton branch, so he wants to say goodbye. He places a small recorder on the desk and it plays “Thank You” by Natalie Merchant. He leaves as the music plays.

Back to New York quickly, we met up with Karen and Jim as Karen all of the sudden asks about what will happen to them when she gets the job. The joke for a minute about which of them will get the job, but Karen brings it back to a serious conversation. She says she’ll come to New York if Jim gets the job. She also says that if she gets the job, Jim needs to come to New York because he can’t stay in Scranton. I think she’s trying to imply that Jim will start things up with Pam if left behind in Scranton.

Back at the office, Dwight is enjoying his new position. He has made Andy his number 2, Dwight still retains the position of Assistant Regional Manager and he has made Pam his secret Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Pam: “So you would be the regional manager, and the assistant regional manager, Andy is your number two, I would be the secret assistant regional manager.”
Dwight: “Mmm, let’s call it secret assistant to the regional manager.”
Pam: “Mm-hmm.”
Dwight: “Do you accept?”
Pam: “Absolutely I do.”

Apparently, Jim taught Pam that if Dwight ever offers her anything, she was supposed to respond with “Absolutely I do.”

Pam: “I literally cannot wait until I see what Dwight has planned. And I wish Jim were here.”

Dwight’s first action in office is to institute Shrute Bucks. What was personally funny about this to me was I had a job once where they offered us “Happy Bucks” when we did something good. Although it didn’t quite take 1,000 to get anything.
Dwight: “When you have done something good, you will receive one Schrute buck. One thousand Schrute bucks equals an extra five minutes for lunch.”

Dwight is also going to have a series of lectures all about the history of paper. His first lecture is in 10 seconds. This first lecture, in a series of lectures, is about how trees grow. The office staff starts to rebel a bit.
Dwight: “Don’t you want to earn Schrute bucks?”
Stanley: “No. In fact, I’ll give you a billion Stanley nickels if you never talk to me again.”
Dwight: “What’s the ratio of Stanley nickels to Schrute bucks?”
Stanley: “The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns.”

Dissention is speadly rapidly. Pam rallies the troops.
Pam: “Hey, c’mon! Let’s listen to Dwight’s presentation.”

Back in New York, Michael is having his interview. Things are going pretty good. Michael suggest that they change the name of Dundler Mifflin to something like Super Duper Paper. At the end of the interview, Michael learns that it is Jan’s position that they are hiring for. And since we all know how well Michael can keep a secret, Michael ends up telling Jan, who immediately storms into Wallace’s office in the middle of his interview with Karen.
Jan’s reaction to the news reminded me of how Michael might handle things if he were a bit more confrontational. In the end, Wallace tell her why she is being let go.
Wallace: “Your behavior in the last two years has been completely erratic.”
He deems her unstable and I’d have to agree.

Speaking of unstable, back in Scranton Andy and Dwight are enjoying the black paint job their giving Michael’s office.
Andy: “It’s like I’m staring into my soul when I look at this wall.”
Dwight: “It’s like outer space without the stars, it’s so black.”

Back in N.Y, Jan is taking her things by escort of security out of Dundler Mifflin. She hugs Hunter goodbye.
Jan: “Good luck with your band. Don’t let them change you.”
Jan’s walks out, giving Wallace a colorful farewell. Michael tells Wallace that he looks forward to hearing about the job. Wallace tells Michael that they will not be hiring him. Michael comes back with…
Michael: “I don’t think I could take my girlfriend’s job. That’s not being a good boyfriend.”
So he respectfully withdraws his name from the running. Wallace accepts his withdraw.
Michael heads out the door to drive Jan home.
In the car, Michael is now dealing with an emotionally unstable woman who is also on pain killers for the surgery, which Jan says, “makes my mood completely erratic.” Interesting. She’s goes from thinking everything is going to be okay, to crying, to thinking this will be good for their relationship. Michael tries to help.
Michael: “Well, I guess you could come and stay at my condo. I think I could back out of the sale. Probably get some negative feedback on my eBay profile.”
Jan: “I could wear stretch pants and wait for you to come home at 5:15.”
Sounds like everyone is happy…..

Michael comes back to Scranton to Dwight’s horrible dissapointment and to a newly painted office.
Michael: “Why is my office black?”
Dwight: “To intimidate my subordinates.”
Michael: “That’s stupid.”
Dwight: “It was Andy’s idea.”
Michael: “You shouldn’t have taken it.”

As everyone settles back in at Scranton to the way things once were, Dwight takes a moment to thank Pam for her loyalty while she had the office of Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager. Pam salutes Dwight, he salutes back and struggles to keep it together.

Back in N.Y, Jim is now interviewing and it’s going really well. Wallace asks for the performance reports that Jim was supposed to bring and among the papers is a note from Pam basically wishing him good luck. Then we get a rare treat for this show, a flashback. This flashback expounds more on the beach encounter with Jim and Pam.
Jim: “How are your feet?”
Pam: “Medium rare. Thanks.”
Jim: “The real reason that I went to Stamford was because I wanted to be … not here.”
Pam: “I know.”
Jim: “And even though I came back, I just feel like I’ve never really come back.”
Pam: “Well I wish you would.”

We don’t really see how the rest of Jim’s interview goes, all we know is he’s supposed to meet up with Karen afterward, but instead he goes back to Scranton.
Pam: “I haven’t heard anything. But I bet Jim got the job. I mean, why wouldn’t he? He’s totally qualified, and smart, everyone loves him. And if he never comes back again, that’s okay. We’re friends. And I’m sure we’ll stay friends. We just … we never got the timing right. You know? I shot him done, and then he did the same to me, but you know what? It’s okay. I am totally fine. Everything is going to be totally …”
Jim: “Pam.” (To camera) “Sorry. Um, are you free for dinner tonight?”
Pam: “Yes.”
Jim: “All right. Then it’s a date.”
Pam: (Turns back to camera with a huge smile on her face)”I’m sorry, what was the question?”

So now we don’t know what Jim is going to say at dinner, but it seems it can’t wait because he ditched Karen is New York to come say it. Who knows?
Before we end though, we come back to see Wallace on the phone with whoever he offered the job to. We find out that the job is going to Ryan. Ryan gets off the phone with Wallace.
Kelly: “Who was that?”
Ryan: “Nobody. You and I are done.”
Kelly: “What?!”
Ryan gives the camera a look of “Free! I’m free!”

Credits roll.

I was totally surprised by the ending. It was not at all what I expected and I think some of the spoilers we got were totally intentionally misleading. Once again we all will wait in agony for 3 months or so as we wait for the first episode in season 4.

Check out this deleted scene.

One last note. This will be my last post. I have decided to give up the blog. I won’t go into why, but it has been very fun writing these many posts and hearing from you guys. Hopefully they get a new writer soon so you’re all not just left hanging.
Well…..see ya.

The Office, The Office season finale, Office episode recap, NBC, The Job”

-Anna

Before I do any recapping, I have to say that I loved Pam in this episode. She was great and even if she never gets Jim, that’s okay, because she is becoming her own character it seems and that’s wonderful.

Okay, now onto “Beach Games”

We begin with Michael and Dwight trying to self-diagnosis Michael by using some online medical site. We learn from Pam that…
Pam: “About forty times a year, Michael get really sick but has no symptoms. Dwight is always gravely concerned.”
Coincidently, the sickness comes with paper work. Hmmm.

Michael gets a call from David Wallace from corporate.
Michael: To what do I owe this honor David Wallace?”
David: “Michael, I am calling to…”
Michael: “And Grommit.” (Snickers)
David: *Sigh*
Michael: “Jan? Is Jan there?”
David: “Jan is out of town right now.”
Michael: “Oh. You sigh like Jan. I broke Jan’s heart, David. And I feel awful. It was never my intention to ruin a life, but you know what? Sometimes…”
David: “Michael?”
Michael: “Sometimes you just gots to get your freak on.”

David goes on to tell Michael that he wants to interview him for a position at management. Michael immediately starts thinking about who should replace him as regional manager.

As the office workers get ready for the big beach day, we learn that Toby will not be going. Someone has to stay behind and who does Michael dislike the most? Toby. Toby offers Pam his sunscreen (SPF30), and is crestfallen when he learns that Pam is going to be wearing a two-piece. Michael goes around the office to make sure everyone is ready.
Michael: “Oscar, you’ve brought your speedo I presume.”
Oscar: “I don’t wear a speedo, Michael.”
Michael: “Well, you can’t swim in leather pants.”
I wonder if Michaels knowledge of the gay culture comes entirely from watching The Village People.

Michael also approaches Pam.
Michael: “Hey, Pam. I have a very important job for you today.”
Pam: “I though we were just having fun at the beach.”
Michael: “We are. We are. But I would like you to take notes. And I want you to find out about people’s character. Now, not their hotness persay, but their humor and charisma and the indefinable quality that makes you all glad to follow me.”
Headshot of Pam: “I have the most boring job in the office, so why wouldn’t I have the most boring job on beach day?”
Sounds like Pam is going to have a GREAT time.

On the bus, Kevin breaks into song. The rest of the gain joins in on a rousing rendition of “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers. Mmmm….chicken…..

Once at the beach, Michael sets up a survivor-ish atmosphere and calls on teams captains, Dwight, Jim, Andy, and Stanley to pick teams.
Dwight’s team names theirselves Griffindor, and likewise, Jim names his team Voldemort. Stanley’s team is the Blue team and Andy’s team is Team America.
Michael: “Very good. Pam take a note. Andy is patriotic.”

In the background, Creed catches a fish with his bare hands.

The first event is an egg race. Participants will have to walk a race blind-folded carrying an egg on a spoon. Andy leads Kelly, but she gets freaked out thinking she might hit a huge rock. Dwight leads Ryan by screaming at him and Ryan flips out at Dwight. Jim leads Karen to water. Phyllis takes two steps for the Blue Team and drops the egg.

Next event, Michael had Pam cooks up hundreds of hotdogs for a hotdog eating contest. No one is really keen on the idea and in his frustration Michael finally reveals his plan. Whoever excells at these challenges will be the next regional manager. Stanley starts stuffing his face.
Stanley: “I would rather work for an up-turned broom with a bucket for a head than work for anyone else in this office besides myself. Game on!”

Creed walks up, “No one told me we were having hotdogs.” The fish he caught earlier is now only bones.

Meanwhile, Michael takes toll of his candidates so far.
Michael: “Jim Halpert. Pros: smart, cool, good looking. Remind you of anyone you know? Cons: Not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project and he can finish the same project in 30 minutes. What does that tell you?”
He continues.
Michael: “Andy Bernard. Pros: He’s classy, he gets me, he went to Cornell, I trust him. Cons: I don’t really trust him.”

Anyway, we next join Dwight and Angela having a secret meeting.
Dwight: (Whispers) “Sabotage.”
Angela: “What? What are you saying? Did you say sandwich?”
Dwight: “No, I was saying that before, not now. Now I am saying, (whispers) sabotage. The ancient Dutch art of screwing up your own team.”
Angela: “I know you were saying sabotage. I was giving you an example of it. I will misunderstand everything that Andy says until he goes insane.
Dwight: “If Michael organizes some sort of support group, stand next to me.”

Well, wasn’t that a delightful and completely normal exchange.

Next event, sumo wrestling.
First up is Stanley and Jim. Stanley, with the possibility of taking over Michael’s job, rushes toward Jim with a crazed look in his eye. Being smart, Jim runs as fast as the fat suit will carry him and face plants it in the sand.
Next, Andy vs. Dwight. The battle goes on for a bit and during the match we hear a bit from Oscar as he looks on.
Oscar: “If either of these guys are put in charge, I will transfer to Albany. Bill can come if he wants. I’ve been looking for a way out of that relationship anyway. I think I might try girls for a while.”

Andy loses to Dwight twice and waddles down to the shore in the fat suit. He falls in and like a beetle on its back, he’s helpless. Angela walks by as Andy floats away, but uh oh, she can’t hear what Andy wants.
Angela: “Bye Andy!”

The last event is walking on hot coals. No one wants to, surprise surprise. Jim challenges Michael to do it if he’s going to ask his replacement to do it. Michael is unsuccessful and Dwight comes forward.
Dwight: “I will walk and stand on these coals until you award me the position of Regional Manager.”
Dwight ends up badly burnt.

Fed up with his crew, Michael gathers the troops in a circle and says that whoever can demonstrate his humor and leadership the best will get the job. He asks Jim to go first and this is when Michael learns that Jim will be interviewing for the same job as Michael. Michael doesn’t believe him however. Dwight comes forward with a rather confusing story about aristocrats. It is supposed to be humorous.

Meanwhile Pam gets up the courage to walk across the coals. She does it successfully and runs over to the group to tell them. This is the moment now, that a lot of fans have waited for. Pam finally stops being a mouse and she’s tells the group all of her feelings and Jim gets an earful.
Pam: “Hey! I want to say something. I’ve been trying to be more honest lately and I just need to say some things. I did the coal walk…just…I did it. Michael, you couldn’t even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. Wow! I feel really good right now. Why didn’t any of you come to my art show. I invited all of you and it really sucked. Like sometimes some of you act like I don’t exist. Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we’re not even friends, and things are just weird between us and that sucks. I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. I really miss you. I shouldn’t have been with Roy. There were a lot of reasons to call of my wedding. But the truth is that I didn’t care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you’re with someone else and that’s fine. It’s whatever…it’s not what I’m…I’m not…okay my feet really hurt. The thing that I’m just trying to say to you, Jim, and to everyone else in the circle I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle. Okay, I’m going to walk in the water now…okay…good day.”

Bravo Pam! However, Michael insists that he needs someone will more a sales background.

We end with the whole gang back on the bus singing the theme song from the Flintstones.

Credits roll.

Don’t forget the hour long season finale next week!

The Office, Office episode recap, Beach Games Recap, NBC

-Anna

What a show, what a show.

Jim walks into the Office and immediately he receives a demerit from Dwight for tardiness. Dwight goes onto explain that…
3 demerits= 1 citation
5 citations= 1 violation
4 violations = 1 verbal warning
2 verbal warnings= 1 written warning
2 written warnings= 1 disciplinary review that will go to his superior, who happens to be Jim.
Jim then demands that this review be on his desk by 5 or he’ll have to give Dwight a disadulation(not a real word). Dwight is visably unnerved by this prospect.

Opening credits

Phyllis comes into the office and we learn that she has just been flashed by a man who was asking for directions. When Michael hears about this, he thinks it’s somewhat funny that it was Phyllis who got flashed and not some more attractive woman like Pam or Karen. To make light of the situation, Michael puts his finger through his pants and jokes about flashing everyone. Toby walks in and deems Michael’s behavior as inappropriate. Michael accuses him of being the flasher simply because Toby just got there and could have had the opportunity.

Meanwhile, Dwight is searching the parking lot with a wooden stake and is determined to catch the pervert who flashed Phyllis. Andy wants to help too.
Andy: “What happened? What can I do to help? I’ll check the web.”
You do that, Andy.

Michael comes to the shocking realization that his behavior beforehand may not have been the correct behavior. We also get some rather weird tidbits about Jan.
Michael: “Women can’t have fun if they don’t feel safe. For example, Jan and I have a safe word in case things go too far. Foliage. And if one of us says that word, the other one has to stop. Although last time, she pretended she didn’t hear me.”

Dwight is authorized to start the Emergency Anti-Flashing Task Force. He ask Michael if he can show Phyllis a file of photos of the male anatomy to see if she can identify the culprit. Where Dwight gets such a file, I don’t know and I don’t want to know.

In a head shot, Pam speaks about the days events.
Pam: “I don’t often miss Roy. But I can tell you one thing. I wish someone had flashed me when I was with Roy. Because that would have been the ass-kicking of the year. Especially if it had been Jim. He would not have wanted me to have seen Jim’s … whoo, I am, I am saying a lot of things.”

As part of the Anti-Flashing Task Force, Dwight sends out a memo that he thinks will keep the women safer.
Karen: “Hey, did you guys see this memo that Dwight sent out? (Reading) “Women will be sent home if they wear makeup or heels exceeding one-quarter inch. Females are not allowed to speak to strangers unless given written authorization by Dwight Schrute.â€? This is ridiculous.”
Pam (reading): “Sleeves down to the wrists, button-up collars, and muted colors.� Nobody dresses like that. (Sweeping shot to Angela)
Dwight also does the women a favor by removing all the bananas from the break room. Good thinking, Dwight.
Michael protests this memo.
Michael: “If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that.”
Michael decides to hold a meeting for “Women’s Appreciation.” The purpose? To make the women feel appreciated.
Michael speaks about how women are portrayed in the media as these skinny, hot godesses, but how that is not the case in the office.
Michael: (Gesturing toward Pam) “Even the hot ones aren’t really that skinny.”
Karen: “What you’re saying is extremely misogynistic.”
Michael: “Yes. Thank you. That was not necessary, but I appreciated it. And it proves my point. Women can do anything.”
Karen: “I’m saying that you’re being sexist.”
Michael: “No, I’m being misogynistic. That is insane, I am not being sexist.”
Karen: “That … it’s the same thing.”
Phyllis: “Michael.”
Michael: “Yes.”
Phyllis: “When I got my hair cut short, you asked me if I was a lesbian.”

Michael realizes that the women are not comfortable talking in such a male-dominated environment like the office, so he tells them that he’ll take them where they are comfortable; the mall.
Angela: “Malls are just awful and humiliating. They’re just store after store of these horrible salespeople making a big fuss out of an adult shopping in a junior’s section. There are petite adults who are sort of … smaller, who need to wear … maybe a kids’ size 10.”

The girls and Michael head to the mall in Meredith’s van. They get to the mall and they all sit down in the food court to talk or “dish.”

Meanwhile, the men back at the office have discovered that the women’s bathroom has a rather comfortable lounge. They all take advantage of this rare opportunity and hang out in the girl’s bathroom. Here we learn that Jim is taking Karen out tonight for their 6-month anniversary. Ryan has a surprised look on his face. He didn’t realize that Jim and Karen had been dating for SO long.
Ryan: “She might mention an email that I wrote awhile back, um …”
Jim: “Oh, right. I remember that one. She read it to me. She said she’s not really ready to date somebody in the office, but she really likes you as a friend.”
Ryan: “I figured. It’s cool. I don’t … I really wouldn’t want to be in an office relationship anyway.”
Awkward.

Back at the mall, Michael is discussing his very very strange relationship with a very very strange Jan.
Michael: “I like cuddling and spooning, and she likes videotaping us during sex.”
Michael: “And then watching it back right afterward to improve my form.”
Karen: “That is *not* healthy behavior.”
Michael: “No, it’s not that bad. The worst part is, that she shows it to her therapist and they discuss it.”
Michael (crying): “You guys … what am I going to do about Jan?”
Phyllis: “Don’t think, just answer. What do you want to do about Jan?”
Michael: “I wanna break up with Jan. Wow! I wanna break up with Jan.”
Phyllis: “My mom taught me that.”
Good job Phyllis.

Back at the office, Dwight and Andy are on the flasher case.
Andy: “I really appreciate your letting me work alongside you so closely today.”
Dwight: “Of course you do, moonface. That’s because you’re a preppy freak, you’re the office pariah, and nobody likes you. So, start hanging these all around the building.”
Andy: “This guy looks like a real deviant.”
Dwight: “No duh! That’s why we gotta catch him. Start hanging those!”
Andy: “Aye aye, Cap’n.”
Dwight: “More like, “Aye aye, General.â€?

Dwight and Andy are hanging up sketches of the deviant that Pam drew. Since Phyllis didn’t get a very good look at the guy, Pam sketches Dwight with a mustache and no glasses.

At the mall, Michael offers to buy one thing for gals from Victoria Secret as a thank you for helping out with his Jan problem. Karen gets something sexy and Phyllis declares that Jim will love it. Pam gets something too.
Pam: “I’m kind of in between boyfriends right now. So I don’t need anything sexy. But I do need some new hand towels, I figure I could cut up this robe.”
On the way home, the van gets a flat tire. Michael tries to help.
Michael: “Do you have a crescent? A crescent Allan?”
Luckily they have Pam and she changes the tire.
Pam: “You know, I changed a tire today. All by myself. This bathrobe’s already coming in handy.”

Michael and the girls all arrive safely back at the office. The guys have, by this time, vacated the women’s bathroom. Michael immediately goes to his office to call Jan and break things off. He ask his girls to be with him, so Phyllis, Karen and Pam go in to offer support.
Jan’s voicemail picks up.
Michael (leaving voicemail for Jan): “Hey, Jan, it’s me. Michael. I’m just calling to say that I think we need a little break. Permanently. And, uh, I know everybody says this, but I wanna remain friends. Or at least, business associates who get along. Oh just so you know, it’s not me, it’s you. Okay, buddy. Somebody just walked in (Jan), I have to go. Um, so I’ll talk to you later.”

Jan is there to apologize for a call earlier in the day where she was demanding that Michael come to New York again. While talking with him, her phone buzzes to let her know that she has a voicemail. She listens and realizes what is happening. She leaves.

We end with a little monologue from Michael.
Michael: “Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Cause they are un-understandable. There’s a wishing fountain at the mall. And I threw a coin in for every woman in the world and made a wish. I wished for Jan to get over me, I wished for Phyllis a plasma TV, I wished for Pam to gain courage, I wished for Angela a heart, and for Kelly a brain. “Michael, how can you appreciate women so much, but also dump one of them?â€? You mean, how can I be so illogical and flighty and unpredictable and emotional? Well maybe I learned something from women after all.”

But wait, there’s more.
Dwight receives a call.
Dwight: “Dunder Mifflin Paper slash Sex Predator Hotline. This is Dwight Schrute.”
Jim: “Hey, Dwight. It’s Jim.”
Dwight: “Jim, what are you doing? I’m busy.”
Jim: “No, you’re not. I’m looking right at you.”
Dwight: “Ugh, I’m hanging up.”
Jim: “Don’t. I have information about the sex predator.”
Dwight: “You have information about the sex predator?”
Jim: “I saw him two minutes ago.”
Dwight: “Where?”
Jim: “In the women’s bathroom, above the sink.”

Dwight barges into the women’s bathroom and looks into the mirror. His face aligns with a mustache drawn on the mirror and the horrific realization comes to him.
Dwight: “PAM!”

Credits roll.

All in all, it was a good episode. I think the first few minutes after the flashing with Michael had to be the most awkward moments in Office history. Let me know what you thought of the episode.

Thanks to OfficeTally.com and JustJared for some of the pics and quotes.

The Office, Women’s Appreciation, Office episode recap, Office quotes, Steve Carell, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, Rainn Wilson, NBC

-Anna

The first two minutes of this episode were grand.

Andy walks into the Office after being gone for 5 weeks and says he would liked to called Drew. Upon telling Jim this, Jim refuses to call him Drew. Andy recites his mantra “That’s okay. I can’t control what you do, I can only control what I do.” He says so in a very forced manner as if it’s taking all of his energy to keep the “grumpies” away. Dwight has decided to shun Andy for the next 3 years and won’t speak with him.
Dwight: “Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I’m looking forward to. It’s an Amish technique. It’s like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.” That’s tough.

Opening credits.

It is safety training day. All the Office workers go down to the warehouse to be instructed by Darryl. Darryl says that they usually have safety training once a year, or right after an accident. This is one being called for the latter reason. Apparently Michael kicked out a ladder from underneath Darryl and said, “How’s it hanging, Darryl?” Darryl now has a busted ankle. Honestly, how is Michael still working there?
During the safety training Darryl specifically says that it is not safe, nor will it ever be safe for Michael to touch either the forklift or the baylor.
Darryl: “Quiz. Mike. Should you drive the forklift?”
Michael: “I can and I have.”
Darryl: “No no no no no no. I said should you? You should not drive it. You should not drive the forklift. You understand?”
I don’t think Michael will ever understand.
While Michael and Darryl are fighting, Kevin starts up what will the first of several bets throughout the day. The first bet is when Darryl asks the group how many people die a year at the hands of a baylor. Guesses are made and Kevin loses. Ah, well he’ll have a chance to make it back.

After that ordeal, Michael decides that he wants his own safety training in the office. He asks Toby to conduct this seminar. Toby starts off with some current office safety issues such as carpel tunnel syndrome, a draft in the office and such things as that.
Michael likes the one about heart disease from living a sedentary life style.
Michael: “Heart disease kills more people than bailers.”
Lonny: “That’s called having a fat butt, Michael.”
Needless to say, the office safety training doesn’t go well.
Darryl: (Speaking to Michael ) “This is shenanigans, foolishness. NERF ball. You live a sweet little NERF-y life. Sittin’ on your biscuit. Never havin’ to risk it.”

While Michael sulks and looks for more dangerous office situations, the next bet is on. This time, everyone is trying to guess how many jelly beans Pam put in her jar. Jim wins. Kevin thinks it’s unfair.
Kevin: “That is not fair. He has spent hours up here at reception with you. Hours and hours.”
Jim: “Okay … okay.”
Kevin: “No constantly, like, for years.”
Jim: “Okay.”
Karen doesn’t seem pleased.

Michael continues to feel down and Pam tries to help. She tells Michael that his safety training didn’t go well because office dangers are hard to demonstrate. Darryl had visual aids, and he didn’t. Michael agrees and brews a plan to demonstrate depression. He goes to Dwight with this and the two put their heads together.
Michael: “You know what our killer is? Depression.”
Dwight: “Wolves.”
Michael: “Depression.”
Dwight: “Visual aids.”
Michael: “Yes.”
Dwight: “A quilt — depression quilt?”
Michael: “No time to sew a quilt.”
Too bad, the quilt would have been beautiful.

Next bet. This time everyone is betting on how long Kelly can keep talking to Ryan.
Kelly: “So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. So number five becomes number four. Number six becomes number five. Number three becomes number two. Etcetera, etcetera. And let’s just say that I just sent back Love Actually, which was awesome. And they sent me Uptown Girls, which is also awesome. But guess what? Now I want to see Love Actually again. But it’s at the bottom of the queue! Oh no, what’ll I do? What I do is this. I go online, I go “click, click, click,â€? and I change the order of the queue so that I can see Love Actually as soon as I want to. It’s so easy, Ryan. Do you really not know how Netflix works?”
It comes out to 2 minutes and 42 seconds. Ryan cleans out the joint on that one. But there are some other winners.
Kevin: “Additionally, Pam, you win ten because she said “awesomeâ€? twelve times, and Jim, you win five because she mentioned six romantic comedies.”

Michael has now acquired a trampoline. His plan is simple. To demonstrate depression he will jump off the roof, land gently on the trampoline, take a few extra fun bounces and go on his merry way. Riiigghht. They use watermelons to test it out. It doesn’t look pretty. I think Michael has been watching too much Looney Tunes.

Next bet. Creed is eating an apple and the bet is whether he’ll notice if they exchange the apple for a potato. Creed doesn’t notice.

Michael is feeling a bit uneasy about the trampoline, so he asks Dwight to get him one of those huge blow-up play pens shaped like a castle. Dwight enlists Andy’s help with this.
Dwight: “I’m temporarily lifting the shun.”
Andy: “Thank you.”
Dwight: “Means nothing. I need you to do something for me.”
Andy: “Anything.”
Dwight: “Okay, calm down. I need you to acquire an inflatable house and/or castle.”
Andy: “You mean a moon bounce.”
Dwight: “What do you think? You’ve got an hour.”
Andy: “I’m gonna need petty cash.”
Dwight: “Shunning resumed.”
Andy: “Do you, do you want a drawbridge?”
Dwight: “Un-shun. Yeah, that sounds good. Re-shun.”

Now with the castle in hand, Diwght gives Michael some last advice before the demonstration.
Dwight: “When you land, try and land like an eight-year old. These bouncy castles are not designed for adults.”

Next step is to get everyone out there for the demonstration. Dwight runs breathless into the office and tells everyone that Michael is up on the roof and is acting very strange.
Dwight: “I think he wants you all to come out to the parking lot and watch him die.”
Stanley: “Is it nice outside?”
Dwight: “It’s gorgeous. Let’s go!”
Stanley: “Do I need my jacket?”
Dwight: “No, really, it’s very nice. C’mon!”
Ryan: “Will I be too warm in a long sleeve tee?”
Dwight: “Everyone’s going to be fine in exactly what they’re wearing. Let’s go!”

They all arrive and the show begins.
Michael: “The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression.”
Dwight: “Depression? Isn’t that just a fancy word for feeling “bummed outâ€??”
Michael: “Dwight, you ignorant slut.”

Meanwhile, folks are talking about what the odds are as to whether or not Michael will actually jump.

Dwight forgot to get the warehouse people, so they have to start again once everyone is present.
Jim: “Well, you know, the first performance was a little off. But I really think they hit their stride in the second show. Um, might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinee. Oh excuse me. It’s my favorite part.”

Jim and Pam notice the castle and realize the Michael really is going to jump. Pam tells Michael that he needs to come down because she has a present for him. This doesn’t work however and Darryl steps in because Michael doesn’t really sound like he is pretending anymore.
Darryl tells him that he has things to live for.
Darryl: “What about Jan? Lovely, lovely, lovely, Jan, man. It’s goin’ good, right?”
Michael: “It’s complicated with Jan. And I don’t know where I stand or what I want.”
Darryl: “Mike, you’re a very brave man. I mean, it takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every single day knowing full well you gotta be you.”
Michael: “You really mean that?”
Darryl: “I couldn’t do it. I ain’t that strong and I ain’t that brave.”
Michael: “I’m braver than you?”
Darryl: “Way braver! You Braveheart, man.”
Michael: “I Braveheart. I am.”
Darryl: “Come on down, okay?”
Michael: “Okay. Pam, I’m coming down to get my present.”

Way to go Darryl! The demonstration ends and so does another great episode of The Office.

The Office, episode recap, Safety Training, Carell, Fischer, Wilson, Krasinski, NBC

-Anna

Might I say that after a month and a half on hiatus, I think the wait was worth it for this episode. Obviously there was a lot that most of us already knew. Roy attacking Jim. Michael wearing a woman’s power suit. But, I was surprised by how much they didn’t leak. It was great.

Okay. Here goes.

The episode started off on a Friday evening and everyone is getting ready to go home. Only a few employees are there when Roy comes in and charges toward Jim. However, Dwight leaps to action with his pepper spray that thoroughly incapacitates Roy and effectively clears everyone else’s sinuses….for good.
Head shot of Dwight talking about how everyone made fun of his pepper spray storage for 4 years, but he’s bet they’re glad now. All the while, tears are streaming down his face from the pepper spray that filled the room and he’s blinking a mile a minute to stave off the sting. It was great.
Next, we see Michael talking with Jan on a Monday morning over the speaker phone in the conference room about the attack. Jan is justifiably concerned. Michael calms her fears with this line, “It was a crime of passion Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely…gruntled.” Nice.
Head shot of Pam. “I really don’t want to talk about it[the attack]. I don’t mean to be rude, but I really don’t want to comment on it. [Long Pause] It sucked!”
Head shot of Dwight. “No, don’t call me a hero. Do you who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs and get a distress call from the commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and fly around fighting crime.”
Flip to Michael preparing for Darryl’s entrance. Darryl, Michael knows, will be asking for a raise and so Michael is preparing himself by studying negotiation tactics on Wikipedia which Michael deems, “The best possible information.” He’s using Jim to practice with. Michael tries mumbling and abruptly walking out of the room. Yeah, he’s confident now that he’ll be able to deal effectively with Darryl.
Switch to Toby taking Dwight’s statement about what happened during the attack. Dwight finishes and all we hear is Kelly and Ryan fighting about something. Kelly: “I call you in the middle of the night because I love you!”
Head shot of Toby. “I don’t think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly. But if he did intend that….wow……genius.”
Back now to Michael who is now in negotiation with Darryl. He tries several tactics. Mumbling. Changing location of the meeting suddenly. Refusing to speak first. None work well. Darryl point blank asks for a 10% raise, but only after writing it on a piece of paper and then sliding it across the table to Michael, as Michael instructed him to. Michael doesn’t want to give him that much because then Darryl will be making as much as Michael. Darryl then goes about documenting Michael pathetic pay stub with his camera phone. Darryl also notices that Michael is wearing women’s clothes.
Michael: “I don’t wear women’s clothes. I won’t make that mistake……..again.”
Darryl finally convinces Michael to go after his own raise after 14 years of loyal service to Dundler Mifflin. Michael agrees and they call Jan. Jan says they can come to NY, but they have to bring Toby because of Michael and Jan’s…uh…situation. ROADTRIP!!!!
Flash to Pam in the break room. Jim walks in and Pam awkwardly apologizes about Roy’s behavior and tells Jim that it’s definitely over between her and Roy. Jim laughs and say that he’s sure she and Roy will find each other again someday. Pam again apologizes. Jim leaves. Nice Jam moment, gee thanks writers!
During all of this, Angela is going around the office to get accounts of what happened the day of the attack; she had already left. She asks Oscar, Karen, Kelly and even Creed. Each time she hear the story of Dwight’s bravery, she’s get that look in her eyes. That “I am sooooo attracted to the most awkward human being on earth right now” look. Anyway, she finally just steals the report that Toby wrote about the whole event.
Roy and Pam meet in a diner and discuss the horrible chain of events that led up to the attack. Roy has been fired from Dundler Mifflin. He asks Pam if she’s going to go out with Jim now. She hesitates, but eventually says no, rather unconvincingly. They seem to split for good very peacefully and on goes life.
Back to the roadtrip. Michael confronts Toby about the trip.
Michael: “Come on Toby, let’s go”
Toby: “Where?”
Michael: (Sarcastically) “I’m gonna smack you in the head with a hammer.”
We hear Ryan and Kelly fighting.
Kelly: “You’re so mean, Ryan. You call me stupid. What’s so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher?”
Toby: (Looks over at Ryan and Kelly fighting, looks at Michael) “Alright.” (Gets up to leave).
Flip to New York where Michael is meeting with Jan about his own raise and Darryl’s. Jan warns Michael not to talk about their relationship or bring it into the matter. Michael immediately refuses sex if he doesn’t get a raise. Toby is busy righting this all down for the inevitable trial.
Jan has Toby leave the room and Jan offers Michael a 12% raise.
Jan: “I can offer you a 12% raise but you have got to ask for 15.”
Michael: “That’s ridiculous. I’m never going to…”
Jan: “No, just…I just need you to ask for 15 so I can record that you asked for it.”
Michael: (Nodding with understanding) “Ah, so…alright Levinson, here’s the rub. I would like a 15% raise.”
Jan: “No, but we can give you 12.”
Michael: “But you just said 15.” (Jan rolls her eyes.)

So Michael and Darryl both get their raises. HURRAY!
Back at the office, Angela shows Dwight this folder about bravery. She then invites Dwight to read it with her and his response is to make out with her right there in the office.
Jim sees the whole thing, but decides never to say a word. This makes him and Dwight even after Dwight saved Jim from Roy.

Lastly, Andy comes back from anger management training. “I graduated from anger management the same way I graduated from Cornell. On time.”

Andy wants to make a fresh start with everyone. He gleefully walks into the office only to be sprayed in the face with Dwight’s pepper spray.
Dwight: “No need to thank me!”

The end of the show has Dwight giving up all of his arsenal to Toby. Tis a sad day.

The end.

My review will be tomorrow’s post and well as the results from today’s poll.

The Office, NBC, The Negotiation, Episode Recap, Steve Carell, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, Rainn Wilson

-Anna

Honestly, there weren’t too many new scenes. And some of the new scenes lasted only a few minutes and so some of them were undetecable unless you have perfect memory of the original episodes. The two episodes were “Traveling Salesman” and “The Return.” The biggest addition to the “Travelling Salesman” was the following scene that I will quote word from word from a post on OfficeTally.com. The commenter is Clark. Thanks, Clark.

Scene: Pam at her reception desk. The phone rings.
Pam: “Dunder Mifflin this is Pam…. THIS IS PAM!!! I did!?�
— Cuts to a talking head of Pam —
Pam: “Yeah I did a watercolor of Francis Willard elementary school for a contest they were having. They were calling with the result. And I won. I won!!! My painting won! So I’d like to thank my Mom for always encouraging me. And I’d like to thank my Dad for buying my first set of art pencils. And… I’d like to thank the 6th grade class that picked me :)�
— Cuts to a shot of Pam in her desk googling her little watercolor picture online and showing it to the camera —
Then… she goes to tell Kevin about her exciting news. Kevin asks her if she won anything from her watercolor, unto which she replied, a $100. Instead of being congratulatory, Kevin responds by saying how he won $400 from an NBA game the other night (not quite the response Pam was hoping for).
Then… Pam goes to Angela and tells her the same news. Angela tells Pam that she enjoys the little moments they get to spend together and offers Pam one of her kittens, to which Pam considerately turns down (the whole cats aren’t allowed in apartments routine). Angela didn’t take kindly to that and disdainfully retorts back with “well then, have a nice day.� and goes back to her seat.
Then…
Scene: Jim comes back from his sales calls. Karen comes up and invites him for coffee. As Jim is getting his coat off the rack…
— Jim to Pam —
Jim: “Beesly, coffee?�
Pam: “No thanks, I had some already.�
Jim: “Alright.�
Pam: “But hey Jim…�
Jim: “Yeah?�
Pam: “… I won an art contest today.�
Jim: “No way!�
Pam: “Yeah!�
Jim� “Alright Pam congratulations!
— Jim high-fives Pam —
Jim: “Which one was it?�
Pam: “I sent in one of my watercolors.�
Jim: “Cool!�
Pam: “It was a new one I did.�
Jim: “Oh nice…�
— Karen interrupts Jim —
Karen: “Are you ready Jim?�
Jim: “… yeah!�
— Jim back to Pam —
Jim: “Can I see it when I get back?�
Pam: “Yeah!�
Jim: “Congratulations! Big deal!�
— Shot of Jim leaving with Karen, pans to Pam with a big smile on her face —

So we got some Jam moments in the new cut, which I think pleased a lot of people.
In “The Return”, I honestly didn’t see all much of anything new. As far as I can tell, there was one part where Michael goes to retrieve Dwight and there is snow in his car. There’s an exchange about Lance Bass between Kelly and Oscar. And then they actually show Andy going to Anger Management instead just letting us assume that’s where he went.

The episodes were spliced together quite well and it did seem like one whole episode. I was hoping for more and apparently the word on the street is that everyone else was too. Ah well, just a few more weeks until a new episode.

Here’s a video of the scene mentioned above:

The Office, NBC, Newpeats, Carell, Krasiniski, Wilson, Fischer, The Return, Traveling Salesman

This the second recap that I’ve written, stupid computer, so I apologize if I seemed irritated throughout this post.

Any episode that starts off with Michael in a straight jacket is going to be a good one. Michael has apparently gone to Magic Camp and now he, Michael the Magic, is going to perform a escape trick. Dwight has tied him up in this straight jacket, complete with chains, and Michael will expertly escape. With the key, not so discreetly hidden in Michael’s mouth, he begins, but not before instructing everyone not to come to his aid, no matter what. He loses the key in the struggle to free himself and we then see a two-minute drunken struggle with Michael pitted against himself. True to their word, no one comes to his aid. The last thing he says to the camera is, “Separately, on an unrelated note, if you happen to find a small brass key…”

Later, Michael and Dwight leave early, real early, for the cocktail party. Michael is bringing a potato salad that has been sitting in his very warm car all day. They show up and the hostess is still getting ready for the party. But Michael’s advice is, “Actually, it’s polite to arrive early. And smart. Only really good friends show up early. Ergo de facto, show up early, become a really good friend.”

Back at the office, Pam invites Roy to go out with the staff that night for drinks. At first Roy declines, but then Pam states that, “Hey. You have to come do stuff with me. I’m serious. If you’re going to be my boyfriend, then you have to do boyfriend things.” Hmmm, forcing your boyfriend to be a good boyfriend. Sounds like everlasting love to me! A one-on-one explains Pam’s forcefulness.

“I have decided that I am going to be more honest. I’m going to start telling people what I want, directly. So, look out world, cause ‘ol Pammie is getting what she wants. (Pause) And don’t call me Pammie.”

Jim is supposed to be going to the cocktail party that Michael is attending, but is less than enthused about it. “Why don’t I wanna go…didn’t expect to need a reason. So let me think here. I don’t know any of these people. It’s an obligation. I don’t like talking about paper in my free time (softly)or work time. And…did I use the word pointless?” Nevertheless, he and Karen attend the party.

Once the party has actually started we see Dwight over by the buffet apparently mingling with people. This is how Dwight mingles:

Dwight: (To a party guest) You know the line on top of the shrimp? That’s feces.

Dwight: You ever watch Battlestar Galactica?
Party guest: No.
Dwight: No? Then you’re an idiot.

Dwight also questions the hosts about the lovely home, you know things like how much sqaure footage there is, you know, just chit chat. We then see him periodically throughout the episode inspecting some part of the house. He concludes, “The chimney is in decent shape. Not great. I found some termite damage in a crawlspace and some structural flaws in the foundation, so..all in all it was a pretty fun cocktail party.”

Michael is giddy at the party. He considers this his and Jan’s coming out party. In preparation for this moment in their relationship, Jan offers a contract to Michael. “It releases the company in the event that our relationship in our opinion or in reality interferes with work. You get a copy, I get a copy, and a third copy goes to HR.” Nothing like a white hot passionate litigation process to heat things up. Michael says he’s going to frame his copy.

Back at the bar with the staff from Dundler Mifflin, we share some nice moments with various characters. We learn that Creed has a side business that has gained him some popularity with the local teenagers. “I run a small fake ID business from my car with a laminating machine that I swipped from the sheriff’s office.” Good for you Creed.
We also learn that Toby may have a thing for Pam. As the group passes one of those machines that requires you to use a completely inept claw to grasp at fairly mediocre prizes, Pam notices a cute stuffed duck and Toby takes notice. He then spends a large part of the episode going after that darn duck.

Back at the cocktail party, Michael announces that he and Jan are lovers. Jan is having a hard time with this coming out party, in fact she seems to be having a hard time dating Michael at all. In a one-on-one, she explain herself a bit. “I am taking a calculated risk. What’s the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside, I date Michael Scott publicly and collaspe into myself like a dying star.”
They happy couple end up getting into their first fight when Jan wants…um…some special…time with Michael as the hid in a bathroom. Michael refuses because there’s no room to cuddle. Ahhh, what a cute couple.

Back at the bar, the staff is playing a game called Up Jenkins. A game where one person hides a quarter and others have to find it. Roy finds it under Pam’s hand, laughs and then says, “I can read you like a book. You can’t keep anything from me.” At this Pam, one assumes, realizes that she is keeping something from Roy; that big kiss between her and Jim last season. Is she going to continue on this honesty streak? Yup. She decides to tell Roy all about it. Here’s the exchange:

Pam: I want us to make it. I want a fresh start.
Roy: Awesome. That’s what I want too.
Pam: Okay, but in order for us to make it, there can’t be any secrets between us.
Roy: I didn’t do anyting. Ask anybody. I totally could have, but I didn’t at all.
Pam: Just listen. Remember that casino night, about a month before we were supposed to get married? I kissed Jim.
Roy: What?
Pam: He told me how he felt, and I guess I had some feelings too, and we kissed.
Roy: Jim came on to you?
Pam: Just listen.
Roy: No, I am listening. That’s the problem, I’m listening!
Pam: Don’t yell!
Roy: Don’t yell?! ( He then throws something a mirror in the bar and it cracks)
Pam: This is over.
Roy: Yeah, you’re right. It is over. You kidding Pam?, come on!
Roy and his brother then proceed to trash the bar. I tell ya, I didn’t expect Roy to react so violently. Pam was truly terrified. I’m so glad she said it was over and didn’t try to apologize or make up for it. The last thing we hear Roy say is that he’s going to kill Jim Halpert. Da da dahhh!!! So Pam and Roy are done with. HURRAY! But he’s not gone. He’s want to kill Jim. I wonder now how Pam will proceed and I really wonder if there will acutally be a fight between Roy and Jim.

Back and the cocktail party Jim is playing hoops with the CFO, Karen is trying to convince Jim that she’s dated a vast majority of the males at the party and Michael and Jan continue on down the road of bliss, as it were. The party finally ends and Michael and Jan drive home. On the way, they discuss their future.
Michael: Our first fight. Is this about what happened in the bathroom. There was no room to cuddle.
Jan: I feel sick.
Michael: You didn’t have any of the potato salad did you?
Jan: You know, we were good when we were just running around. You know? In secret, it was wrong and it was exciting, and maybe it was a mistake to take it public.
Michael: Well if that is how you feel, my lady, then you have hurt me greatly.
Jan: Michael, please don’t cry.
Michael: I want a house, Jan, and I want a picketed fence, I want the ketchup fights, I want the tickling and the giggling. (Pause) I love you Jan.
Jan: Okay.
Dwight: (Emerging from the back seat) Don’t break up you guys, you’re great together.

Well, that’s about it friends. It was a marvelous episode, truly. Some big things did happen and even though Jim and Pam didn’t even see each other, I think things happened for them as well. It’s killing me even more now that we have to wait until April 12th for a new episode.

-Anna

Office, NBC, Cocktails, Carell, Fischer, Krasiniski, Wilson, quotes

I’d have to say that of the recent new episodes, this one is my current favorite episode.

So, as we all know, Michael has been invited by Ryan to speak at his business school. Ryan speaks with the crowd first while Michael can’t hear. We hear Ryan talking about how management at Dundler Mifflin refuses to believe that they’re out-of-date and that they’ll be obsolete in 5-10 years. But before we get to Michael’s lecture, we jump back to the office.

At the office, a bat has gotten loose. Dwight takes it upon himself to trap it in the conference room. Angela is freaking out because it might poop on her. Mindy is confused by wanting the creature to have its right to live, but screams out “Kill it!” as soon as it flies toward her. This whole commotion gives Jim an idea. He lets on that the bat bit him and that it must have been a vampire bat because he’s starting to feel “tingly.” Obviously he’s doing this to get Dwight. Karen is also in on it and they spend the day playing on old vampire myths, like garlic, a crucifix, sunlight, and the growing of fangs. As they demonstrate how each one if affecting Jim, the camera scans to Dwight at his computer with a webpage all about vampires loaded onto his screen.
Jim look very intently at Dwight’s neck as the Vampiric germ takes hold…

Dwight then conspires with Creed of all people to make a wooden stake in case Jim makes his complete transformation.
Dwight: Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions.
Dwight: We form an allegiance …
Creed: Sure.
Dwight: … to use sudden violence.
Creed: Okay.
Dwight: Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake?
Creed: What size?

Back at Business School, Michael now has the floor and the first thing he does is rip up someone’s textbook. He claims that books can’t teach you anything. “You cannot learn from books. Replace these pages with life lessons. And then you will have a book that is worth its weight in gold. I know these are expensive. But the lesson is priceless.” The look on the kid’s face is priceless. He then tries to explain the process of business by using crafty candy bars. He tells they need something to sell (a Watchmacallit candy bar) in order to get a payday (A Payday candy bar) and if you get enough paydays then you’ll make a one hundred grand (A One Hundred Grand bar). As he says this, he chucks corresponding candy bars into the audience, sometimes hitting people. Ryan then asks Michael if he’ll just take some questions. They start to question Michael about how Dundler Mifflin can’t compete with places like Staples and how obsolete they will be. Michael becomes more and more agitated at the thought that his precious Dundler Mifflin would ever go out of business. He then realizes that Ryan told the students about Dundler Mifflin’s inadequacies. Michael, now angrier than ever, reveals that Ryan has never made a sell and that he doesn’t know anything. Michael then stalks out and insults the audience one last time. “Ryan has never made a sale. And he started a fire trying to make a cheesy pita. And everybody thinks he’s a tease. Well you know what? He doesn’t know anything, and neither do you. So suck on that!”

Now flip to Pam’s art show. Pam has her own little corner of the show. Compared to the other paintings, Pam’s don’t look all that professional, but it’s good art. Roy enters with his brother and tells Pam that he likes her art. “Your art was the prettiest art of all the art.” He also points out how no one from work came to support her. The way he says it make him still seem like a jerk (a desparate jerk) and Pam turns him down when he asks her to come to his place. Please Pam, realize that Roy is still a jerk. Oscar and his partner also arrive at the art show. Oscar’s partner, without knowing that Pam is behind him, makes fun of the art, comparing her to Van Gogh, as if everyone will be a genius at art on their first try. At this point I’m feeling really bad for Pam.

We cut back to the office where people are going home for the night. Dwight volunteers to wait for animal control. By this time the bat is now in the break room and poor Meredith is in the ladies room scared to come out. When she finally does come out, the bat goes crazy and Dwight rushes in with a garbage bag to catch the beast. Unfortunately, Dwight catches the bat as it lands on Meredith’s head. Then there’s a five minute struggle that I had a hard time controlling my bladder through. It was hilarious.

Now for the end of the show. We cut back to Pam at her art show. Discouraged, she starts to take down her art. All of the sudden, Michael walks in and apologizes for being late. He looks over her art and says he thinks it’s great. Then he sees the one Pam did of the Dundler Mifflin building and wants to buy it. Overcome with emotion and gratitude, Pam hugs Michael and says thank you. It was a nice moment, which is ruined as Pam mistakes a candy bar in Michael’s pocket for something else. But all ends well. Michael frames and hangs Pam’s art in the office. It was a nice connection, well as nice as it could get. Pam needed someone to appreciate her art, and Michael needed someone to appreciate Dundler Mifflin.

I hope this episode makes Pam realize a few things about Roy, but like real life, we always realize things too late and that always causes problems now doesn’t it. I also enjoyed the vampire storyline, it gave The Office a little something different.

You can view some clips of the show at the following links:

The Vampiric Germ
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2822555

Jim the Vampire
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2822666

Dwight helps Michael prepare
http://www.ifilm.com/video/2822665

-Anna

While most of this week’s show took place at Phyllis’ wedding, we did get a little bit in the office. Jim has decided to see if he can train Dwight to respond to a bell like Pavlov’s dogs. If you’ll remember back in the day when you had a science class, Pavlov eventually got his dogs to salivate at the mere sound of a bell. Jim worked for weeks training Dwight by making a beep with his computer and then offering Dwight an altoid. After a while, the beep would occur and without thinking Dwight would reach over to Jim’s desk for an altoid. Jim then would proceed to ask Dwight what he was doing; Dwight has not clue. Man, I love Jim.

Now to the big wedding. Michael I think reach new heights in humilating himself and making everyone else feel embarrassed for him. He was asked to push Phyllis’ dad down the aisle in his wheelchair and this sets of some sort of repressed memory psychotic episode for Michael. Apparently he has been in one wedding before; he wet himself and well, I don’t think he ever got over it. Anyway, Michael is slighted when the dad decides to walk and not ride down the aisle. That’s just the beginning. We then have Michael’s toast which gets him thrown out of the wedding by Dwight, who has taken upon himself to seek any and all wedding crashes; this ends up including poor old demented Uncle Al.

Pam is feeling a bit down at the wedding for most of the episode and it’s not hard to imagine why. As the episode goes along, Pam can’t help but notice that everything about Phyllis’ wedding is exactly like the one she was planning. The invitation, Phyllis’ dress, even Phyllis’ and her husband’s initials, P&R (Phyllis and Robert/Pam and Roy). Jim is there with Karen of course which makes everything worse for Pam. I can probably say with complete confidence that the viewers are going to explode if something between Pam and Jim doesn’t happen soon. The feelings are there, but NO ONE IS SAYING ANYTHING!!! AARRGGHHHH! Sorry, where was I? Anyway, Pam ends up leaving with Roy and Jim pretends he doesn’t care.

The episode ends nicely as Michael finds poor lost Uncle Al and Phyllis’ seemingly forgives him for being Michael.

My feeling at the end of the episode was, “It’s over already?” I thought way more was going to happen with Pam and Jim and frankly I’m starting to believe that The Office should always be an hour long.

Favorite quotes:

Dwight: “You are as beautiful as the Queen of England.”
Angela: “Thank you, Dwight.”

Dwight: “There are too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.”

Some highlights:

-Anna

In this week’s episode, “Ben Franklin”, we get a little picture of how an office environment would handle the arrival of both a “professional dancer” and a Ben Franklin impersonator. But let’s begin from the top.

We start the episode with Michael making a video for his “son” in the event that Michael dies before teaching him valuable lessons. We then go from one lesson on how to jump start a car (which when done Michael’s way could easily give a life-threatening electric shock) to a lesson on how to remove a woman’s bra. This is demonstrated on Dwight. Enough said.

Another big part of the episode dealt with the Jim/Pam/Karen dealio. Karen has become surprisiningly territorial about Jim and will spontaneously hug him, just to prove that things are all right. Karen confronts Pam about her and Jim’s past and Pam, somewhat unconvincingly, encourages Karen in her quest for total Jim domination. To me, Jim has it made. He doesn’t really have to do anything and Karen is pining after him 24/7. Although, he does have secret leftover feelings for Pam and Pam, most likely, has some for Jim as well, but like the writers are going to let that out in the open anytime soon.

Now onto Benny F. and the stripper. Michael is talked into getting strippers for the day’s fesitivities by our irritating friend Todd Packer. But to make sure the women get their equal rights and no sexual harrassment suits are filed, Michael decides that the girls should get a stripper too. Dwight is put in charge of finding the female stripper and he does so with he’s routine blunt, business-like behavior. They go for a blonde.

Jim is put in charge of finding the male stripper. But Jim never really does what he’s told and so he calls a place that will send out impersonators to teach children about great historical figures. Thus we get the kite-flying legend, Ben Franklin.

In the end, Michael, after a panic attack over a lap dance, proclaims that stripper’s are wrong (Here! Here!) and the women decide that even though Ben Franklin didn’t remove his nickers, that he’s still a cool guy and smart too!

Some favorites:

Roy comments on his distaste for strippers, saying they are not sexy to him and then goes on to say, “You know what’s sexy? Pam’s art.” Poor guy.

Michael confesses to his girlfriend that he was at a bachelor’s party and a stripper danced on him. But it turns out that honesty really is the best policy.
Michael: “So are we still in a relationship?”
Carol: “I think I’m closer to firing you.”

Jim tells Dwight that the Ben Franklin impersonator is really Ben Franklin. Dwight then interrogates Franklin with questions about things like the president of Franklin’s time to Franklin’s invention of the bifocal.
Dwight: “Are you nearsighted or farsighted?�

Franklin: “Both. That’s why I invented the bifocal.�

Dwight: “AGHHHHH!!!�

(Later)
Dwight: “I am 99% sure that he isn’t the real Ben Franklin.”

Only 99% Dwight?

-Anna

Last night we saw a night of reruns from the beginning of this season of The Office. There were 3 episodes that I saw. Instead of recapping an episode that many of you have seen once and if you watched last night, twice, I thought we’d look at some unforgettable quotes from the 3 shows last night.

From the first episode “The Coup”:
Michael Scott: “Hey, I thought you weren’t supposed to eat anything for a couple hours after you’ve had a crown put it?”
Dwight Schrute: “…They have this new kind of quick-drying bonding.”
Michael Scott: “Oh? sounds like a good dentist.”
Dwight Schrute: “Yea…”
Michael Scott: “What’s his name?”
Dwight Schrute: (long pause) “Crentist.”
Michael Scott: “The dentist’s name is crentist?”
Dwight Schrute: “Yea.”
Michael Scott: “Sounds a lot like dentist.”
Dwight Schrute: “Maybe that’s why he became a dentist?”

From the second episdoe “Grief Counseling”:
Michael: “It feels like my heart was dropped in a bucket of boiling…….tears. And it feels like someone is hitting my soul in the crouch with a frozen sledgehammer.”

From the third episdoe “Initiation”:
Dwight: “What is Michael Scott’s greatest fear?”
Ryan: “Loneliness… maybe women.”

Dwight: “Just as you have planted your seed into the ground, I will plant my seed into you.”
Ryan: “I don’t think you realize what you’re saying.”

It just goes to show that even on nights when NBC will be showing a rerun of The Office, it’s still definitely worth our time to tune in. It also makes me remember other episodes from previous seasons. I still remember the first episode I ever watched. At one point Dwight opens his desk drawer and asks, “Ok, who put my stapler in jello?” I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard. What do you guys remember? Share them and make us all laugh again.

To get the ball rolling, here are some more quotes from previous episodes and seasons:

Season 1, “Health Care”:
Dwight: “The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition won’t receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff. Count Choculitis….Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula?”

Season 2, “Valentine’s Day”:
Michael : “Scranton is great, but New York is like Scranton on acid. No, on speed. Nah. On steroids.”

Season 3, “Branch Closing”:
Michael: “It is an outrage, that’s all. They’re making a huge, huge mistake. Let’s see Josh replace these people. Let’s see Josh find another Stanley. You think Stanleys grow on trees? Well they don’t. There is no Stanley tree. Do you think the world is crawling with Phyllises? Show me that farm. With Phyllises and Kevins sprouting up all over the place. Ripe for the plucking. [long pause] Show me that farm.”

-Anna

Michael: Domo arigato, Mr. Scott-o.

Michael: It’s all-inclusive.

Jim: Wow, thanks for taking all the excuses, dude.
Ryan: Doctor appointment, car trouble, plantar warts, granddad fought in World War II. Use your head, man. I keep mine in here. Look alive, Halpert. Welcome back.

Karen: Does anyone ever stand up to Angela?
Pam: I think one of her cats did once. She came in with scratches all over her face.

Jim: It’s a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael’s a bold guy. Is bold the right word?

Michael: Hey! I would like a nice slice of Christmas Pam. Side of candy Pams. And perhaps some Pam chops. With mint …
Pam: Can I help you Michael?
Michael: I’m looking for the toy drive box.
Pam: It’s behind you.
Michael: Okay … well, I need to put this bike in there. I hope it’ll fit, with all these little knickknacks …

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the Diwali episode.

A HUGE part of this show is the hilarious one-liners given by the characters. As it’s completely impossible to put all of them in the recap of the episode, this is probably the best way to do it.

Diwali quotes of the night:
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