Watching The Office

Lines from Andy:

• Break me off a piece of that applesauce. Chrysler car. Football cream.
• Break me off a piece of that Grey Poupon.
• It’s gotta rhyme with “piece”… Fancy Feast! Break me off a piece of that Fancy Feast!

Angela: I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.

Darryl: What’s rap?

Lines from Dwight:

• “Angelaâ€? can stay the same, but we’ll change “Andyâ€? to “Dwight.â€?
•  I signed up for Second Life about a year ago. Back then, my life was so great, that I literally wanted a second one. Absolutely everything was the same. Except I could fly.

Dwight: Second Life is not a game. It is a multi-user, virtual environment. It doesn’t have points or scores, it doesn’t have winners or losers.
Jim: Oh it has losers.

Jim: I think it’s great that the company’s making a commercial. Because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people that I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers. Or muffins. Or mittens, or … and frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so … I let it slide.

Kevin: My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.

Lines from Michael:

• Actually, I don’t get paid by the hour anymore, but thank you. I get paid by the year.
• Advertising is about big ideas. If you want to sell a can of Coke, you don’t just show a can of damn Coke. You show a baby picking flowers on the moon. And then people are like, woah, I’m thirsty. You know? It’s not rocket science.
• And thus, Michael Scott sealed his own destiny. In a good way.
• I can’t cook, and I am starting a restaurant. Mike’s Cereal Shack.
• I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all.
• I just drew a picture of a horse that could fly over rainbows and had a huge spike in its head. Five. Five years old. Couldn’t even talk yet.
• I would like you to meet Andrew Bernard. The Nard Dog. Who let the Nard Dog out.
• Oscar, I would like you to do costume design, obviously.
• Phyllis is like our Mrs. Butterworth. Kind of a less urban Aunt Jemima.
• Ryan is being a little bitch again.
• These are our accountants. And as you can see, they are very different sizes.
• This would be a huge coop, people.
• Welcome, one and all, to the world premiere of Corporate Crapfest! 07!
• You are so much more creative than all of the other dry boring morons that you work with.
• You need to learn a lot about your own culture. I’ll make you a mix.

Oscar: When I was younger, I always wanted to be an actor in commercials. Then I realized I had a brain.

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