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The Office Survivor Man Quotes

by LiRa

Toby: Ryan invited me to go on his wilderness adventure retreat. It was this amazing, beautiful, it–
Michael: Hey! Nobody cares. Nobody cares…I need that room, at some point so, just wrap it up!
Toby: Michael wasn’t invited.

Pam: Apparently, they already knew everything they needed to know about him.

Jim: When Michael plays the hypothetical game, I always say yes. And I am always busy.

Dwight: I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim’s life with a can of pepper spray I had velcrowed under my desk. People say, oh it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace. Well I say, it’s better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose.

Dwight: I would make sure that you were dead. I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips, so you could not be identified, and they would call me the Overkill Killer.

Michael (to Dwight): You are way creepier than an actual serial killer.

Dwight: Do I believe Michael has the skills to survive in a hostile environment? Let me put it this way…No, no I don’t.

survivor1.jpg

Michael: When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being.
Jim: That’d be great.

Michael: I wish I could have gone with Ryan on that cool retreat! Jan has plastic boobs! I have hemorrhoids!

Michael: I’ve tented my pants!

Kevin: Most days I just sit and wait for the break.

Phyllis: Hey Michael, I mean Jim…

Jim: Yes, Phyllis called me Michael. And I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.

Michael: I don’t need the woods. I have a nice wood desk.

Michael: Just wait. 10 years, you’ll figure it out.
Jim: Well, I don’t think I’ll be here in 10 years, but…
Michael: That’s what I said. That’s what she said.
Jim: That’s what who said?
Michael: I never know. I just say it. I say stuff like that, you know, to lighten the tension, when things sort of get hard–
Jim: That’s what she said.
Michael: Hey! Nice! Really good. Bravo. My young ‘ward.

For more of The Office Quotes, click this.
For a full recap of this episode, click this.

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Posted in Quotable Quotes on November 13th, 2007

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Watching The Office follows the lives of office workers in the fictional Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, as they face day to day business operations under the guidance or actually, misguidance, of their often inappropriate boss, Michael Scott. One of NBC's best comedy shows, The Office is the incarnation of a revolutionary BBC TV comedy bearing the same title. Hailed for its sharp humor and unique concept, The Office has received multiple recognitions from several award giving bodies since its USA premiere in 2005. Watching The Office will cover everything we get our hands on regarding the show, And from time to time, we will also bring the spotlight on its British version. So, pick a desk and settle down. Let's get working…

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